FATHERHOOD QUOTES 3

Manhood is all about quality choices, that is why God put Adam the man,not Adam the boy, inside the garden.Men make quality choices,boys opt for anything available.

THOUGHTS ON LEADERSHIP 3

The No.1 responsibility of true leaders is to first create an ENABLING ENVIRONMENT for his subjects;that is why God created the garden of Eden before creating Adam.

FATHERHOOD 3 - Understanding The Word "Father"

Fatherhood 3 -

Understanding the word “Father”

Fatherhood can be coined as a term to encompass the answers to the question “Who is a father?”, “what does it take to be a father?”, “how can one become a father?” I believe that if men understand the word “father”, we would have more responsible men in our world today. We would have more men with results and proofs of progress in every area of their lives.

I would like to make some somewhat amazing statements. They are as follows:

-          There is a difference between being male, being a man and being a father.

-          Being male is about gender, being a man is about growth and choices (and there are different kinds of growth) but being a father is about responsibility.

-          Every Father is a male but not every male is a father.

-          Every male starts as a boy, grows to become a man and undertakes the responsibility of a father.

-          While chronological age may be important in growing into becoming a man, it is not the most important factor in growth.

-          Some boys become men by 16, while some “men” are still boys by sixty.

Being a father starts with being a male. As he grows in every aspect of human development, the male becomes a man. If the man accepts and engages in activities tied to fatherhood, he can then be ultimately called a father.

So the process is thus as follows:

                          Male → Boyhood → Manhood → Fatherhood

Misconceptions about Fatherhood and Manhood

1.      1. Manhood, Fatherhood and Sexual prowess

This is one of the gravest misconceptions about these concepts. Through the years, most people have come to believe that a man is someone who has records of exploits of sexual prowess. One who can handle any lady in bed and make her “suffer” (if you know what I mean). While it is true that a man should be able to perform the sex act satisfactorily, the concept of manhood and fatherhood is not all about sex. Sexual ability is a biological function. Manhood and fatherhood goes beyond sex and much more. To equate manhood and fatherhood to only sexual prowess or ability is an abuse of the purpose and divine intent of sex. It is no wonder today, we have a lot of fatherless children, unwed mothers, runaway fathers and juvenile delinquents. After sex, are you ready for its consequences? Did you prepare in advance for the events that could follow the sexual activity? If you are helpless as regards the consequences of your sexual activity, how can you say you are a man? Do you really  

know what manhood is, how about fatherhood? Please,Think again.

1.      2. Manhood, Fatherhood and Money Power

Believing that money power is what manhood and fatherhood is all about is another great misconception. Money, as important as it is, is not what these concepts are all about. If you think because you have money, you can do whatever you like, to whomever and whenever you like, it is clear something is wrong with that kind of thinking. Though we will elaborate more on the meaning of manhood later, but one of the distinctive marks of a man is that he is in charge. He controls and he is in charge of his emotions, whether he has money or not and not the other way round. Yes, when you have good money in your account, you tend to be happy and feel good. Conversely, when you do not have money in your pocket or account, you can feel terrible or even powerless. But be that as it may, a male who has achieved growth into manhood is one who has mastered the control of his emotions in spite of what he has or do not have. To relate manhood and fatherhood to money power exclusively is a terrible misconception. That is why today, we have polygamous families with its myriad of problems and confusions. We have men who because of money controlling them, have put so many women in misery, raising the children alone; we have children who have never experienced any fatherly love, mentoring or care. It’s not about the money or the lack of it. Manhood and fatherhood is beyond money power. We need to change our thinking, to be delivered from the wrong effects of our past thinking.

3. 3. Manhood, Fatherhood and Marriage

Getting married does not automatically transit a man from being a boy into being a man. It is a misconception that has been lingering in our minds for too long, and it has caused serious damage to many homes. A good number of couples are actually married ‘boys’ and ‘girls’. They are grown up children who got married. Children in adult bodies. While it is expected that a man should get married to a woman, unfortunately, we have boys getting married to girls. A good number of marital problems being experienced today by so many homes, boil down to this misconception. The boys have to do some rapid growing up in their thinking so they can become men. Marriage in itself will not transform you into a man and a father. You need to change your thinking.

4.  4. Manhood, Fatherhood and Children

That you have biological children call you “daddy”, “papa”, or the children of your siblings calling you “uncle”, doesnt translate a person into being a father. Fathering a child is not the same thing as Being a Father. You can father a child and yet not be recognized by the child as being his/her father. Reminds me of a certain colleague of mine who at a time because of the low manpower in his department, had to do repeated night calls for close to a year. A time came when his small baby refused to come towards his father. He got broken at heart  one day, when he heard his small baby boy tell the mum that, “mummy, i don’t like this man that always come to our house”. Fatherhood is beyond being able to impregnate a woman so she can deliver. It is so much more than we thought.

So what is Fatherhood?

                           

                    WE CONTINUE IN THE NEXT SERIES

 

FATHERHOOD 2-Males, Boys, Men & Fathers

To be a boy,is to have been born a male. In other words, boyhood is the natural progression from being born male.It is a stage that you find yourself in as you grow up. However,very importantly is the events that occur at this stage.

Boyhood, is supposed to be a period of preparation for the next stage, which is Manhood. It is the stage at which the boy learns about the choices of life and the consequences of one's choices. If mothers understood this, they would take time to educate their boys. Fathers would share experiences from their lives that teach their sons about the consequences of choices. But alas! How many fathers do that today?

Instead of learning from others' stories, you find a lot of boys experimenting choices and reaping consequences that are too heavy for them to carry at that stage of their lives for example, teenage fathers. We even have teenage cultists today, recruited from secondary schools. How would these young minds know the dead end they had choosen by accepting to be initiated into cultism.

There are some vital facts that are associated with boyhood. These can be better appreciated when contrasted with manhood stage.  They are as follows:
1. Boyhood is the stage of discerning one's purpose, Manhood is the stage of deploying that purpose.
2. Boyhood is a dependent stage, Manhood is a dependable stage.
In other words, boys depend on significant others for their needs and advice. A man, is depended upon by related others for their needs and advice.
3. Boyhood largely involves learning about choices and their consequences. Manhood is about making and implementing choices.
4. Character is developed in boyhood but deployed in manhood
5. Habits are acquired in boyhood but exhibited in manhood.
6. Habits can be shaped in boyhood,but habits speaks of the shape of a man in manhood.
7. The foundation for successful manhood are laid in boyhood but the quality of the building is unfolded in manhood.
8. Prematurity is doing in boyhood, what ought to have be done in adulthood. Immaturity is doing in manhood what is expected of boyhood. Thus, we can speak of Premature Men and Immature Men!
9. Sexual conquests is not proof of your expertise in handling women, whether as a boy or in manhood, it is simply an abuse of biological activity gone wild.
10. The ability to control your appetite for food, sex &money in boyhood may significantly strengthen your decision making power in manhood.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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Quotes on Fatherhood 5

EDUGBO ORONANA PAUL (@dredugbo) tweeted at 0:44 PM on Tue, Jul 16, 2013: Being male is about gender but being a man is about choices. Join us in the series @ http://t.co/HUzsJlg0RB (https://twitter.com/dredugbo/status/357103433280532483) Get the official Twitter app at https://twitter.com/download

Quotes on Fatherhood 4

EDUGBO ORONANA PAUL (@dredugbo) tweeted at 0:44 PM on Tue, Jul 16, 2013: Growth in age isn't a guarantee for quality manhood. Some are men by 17,while some remain boys at 70.Let's meet @http://j4men.blogspot.com (https://twitter.com/dredugbo/status/357103462527410178) Get the official Twitter app at https://twitter.com/download

Quotes on Fatherhood 3

EDUGBO ORONANA PAUL (@dredugbo) tweeted at 0:44 PM on Tue, Jul 16, 2013: Every man is a male but not every male is a man.Join me in the Fatherhood series @ http://t.co/HUzsJlg0RB (https://twitter.com/dredugbo/status/357103465866080256) Get the official Twitter app at https://twitter.com/download

Fatherhood Quotes

EDUGBO ORONANA PAUL (@dredugbo) tweeted at 0:43 PM on Tue, Jul 16, 2013: The principle of Fatherhood is key to enjoying a successful and contented life.Join the series @ http://t.co/HUzsJlg0RB (https://twitter.com/dredugbo/status/357103188681310208) Get the official Twitter app at https://twitter.com/download

FATHERHOOD 1- Males, Boys, Men and Fathers

Being male is a matter of birth. You are born either a male or a female. "...male and female created he them" ( Genesis 1:27). You don't need to do anything to be a male or female. You are born a male or a female. That is why the statement "being male is a matter of birth ". As a baby, you grow biologically into boyhood.
Therefore being a boy is about GROWTH. You grow into boyhood. As you eat right, as you get basic education, you naturally grow into boyhood. Boyhood is supposed to be a preparation for manhood. Whether that preparation is effected in the boy's life or not or how qualitative that preparation is, is a different issue all together. However, the quality of that preparation determines the quality of manhood. To undermine the boy today is to undermine the man tomorrow. We need to give more time to teaching our young boys today. We have weak men today because there was little or no training when they were boys. That is why we have a lot of men today who can best be described as "boys in men's bodies". Genesis tells us "therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife" (Genesis 2:27). This Scripture is loaded,we will dwell on it later, but suffice to say here that we need to spend time educating our boys. Boyhood is one of the most vulnerable periods of a male's life. Mother's need to spend time with their boys, father's need to spend time with their boys. Parents need to locate programmes, resources and social interactions that can grow their boys. Don't complain tomorrow when your boys start disturbing you with their marital challenges tomorrow when they are married, all because you didn't help them grow. Remember, "a MAN shall leave his father and mother ...".
TO BE CONTINUED...
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Fatherhood - Understanding the word "Father"

I will be sharing a series of scriptural based truths on this all important word - Father . Grossly misunderstood yet it holds the key to raising responsible young males and changing the current orientation of millions of today's male folk. I recommend this piece not only to men but women, even those with young male children. Ladies can share these truths with their fiances and male friends.
It is God-breathed to change lives. Please don't forget to send your comments and contributions.  God bless you all.